Those familiar with my work and who have expressed criticisms of object-oriented ontology will, no doubt, be amused by the following dream that I today suffered and see in it confirmation of just why object-oriented ontology’s posthumanism is potentially dangerous. Today, after a satisfying lunch and as I indulged in my afternoon meditation– er nap –I awoke from a lingering nightmare in which I was, in reality, a rock that was conscious of itself as being a rock. This mineral being that I was knew itself to be a mineral being and knew that it would sit in this place– now frozen by the winter weather, now baked by the summer sun, now covered by earth, now the victim of sculpture –for all eternity, aware that it was a rock and that it would never be anything but this still, motionless rock. Curled into a fetal ball, I awoke, terrified that my mind had somehow chosen to transform myself into a rock and that I would exist in this way for all subsequent time. As the tendrils of the nightmare gradually dissipated, I got up and slowly stumbled about the house, seeking out the eyes of another person so that they might see me and reassure me that I really am a person and not a rock and that I am not, in fact, condemned to be conscious for all eternity without being able to move in any way. And just like in Lacan’s parable, in this brief instant I felt as if the entire world had disintegrated and that I was a rock dreaming about a person stumbling about his house rather than a person recovering from temporarily being mineral in his essence. This is certainly one of the most terrifying dreams I’ve ever had and I’m rather disturbed that my mind could produce such a bizarre fabulation.