email-marketing2I’m terrible at it, I really am.  I experience a lot of guilt about it as well.  I find it exceedingly difficult to respond to it.  This is not for lack of caring or being interested.  I think, rather, it’s because I feel frozen, paralyzed, by the missives that are sent my way.  So often I feel unequal to the questions that are posed to me.  I don’t have the answers.  I’m not sure how to respond.  Words fall flat.  At other times the letters people send me sound so much more intelligent than anything I have to say.  I grope, I struggle to think things.  Sometimes I manage to think something, but much of the time I feel as if I’m caught in repetitive loops, working through the same thoughts over and over again for years on end, only occasionally encountering a bifurcation point where one sequence of repetition ceases and another begins.  How can I respond?  I don’t know.  You all sound so smart, like you have things figured out.  What do my words have to offer?  Ratification or support perhaps?  I’m sorry about the silence with which I sometimes respond.  I am trying to get better about it.  I hope it’s understood that it doesn’t arise out of indifference but rather out of a sort of horror of not knowing what to say or how to respond.